Clarification

I looked back over my last few blogs and felt like I should tell everyone that I don't see or talk to regularly that I am not miserable:). I am actually doing well and happy with life in general...I just usually sit down to blog when I need to vent or am feeling introspective. Our sermon tonight brought this one on...

But as a whole, I am doing great...I just have moments of doubt...and that is usually when I blog....:)

The Voice of Truth...

"But the waves are calling out my name and they laugh at me"

You'll never be a teacher...you'll never get a job. You wasted your time and your money...you live at home with your parents and can't provide for your kids. You have failed...you are almost 30 and look where you are. You're divorced...you work part time...YOU...HAVE...FAILED.

"Reminding me of all the times I've tried before and failed"

Your marriage fell apart. You couldn't make it work...what's wrong with you? Where was your God then? Your kids aren't perfect...they whine, they throw fits, they don't mind...what kind of a mother are you? You got out of college and did what...NOTHING. What have you done with your life, Shana?

"The waves they keep on telling me time and time again. "Boy, you'll never win!""You'll never win!"

Your best friend is so successful. Your friends are happy, successful...buying houses, getting jobs...look where you are. Living at home, no full time job and mounting bills from school. Can your kids even depend on you???


I struggle. Everyday. I hear these voices...the ones that tell me I am not where I "should" be in life. The ones that hold me back...oppress me. The voices that make me feel guilty, shameful, and threaten the pride that I have let go of. It IS a struggle...

"But the voice of truth tells me a different story"

I love you...I have a plan for you. A job that you will provide for you and glorify me all at the same time. I have redeemed your marriage...I have saved your family. I have a PLAN for you.
I provided for you...with a loving family that could help you when you needed it...

"The voice of truth says, "Do not be afraid!"

It is all OKAY...I HAVE A PLAN FOR YOU. I love you...do not worry about what others think or say...I have it all worked out. Do not fear bills or dark clouds...I am with you always. I've got this, Shana.

"The voice of truth says, "This is for My glory"

For MY glory...remember that. My plan doesn't always match yours but mine is better.

I struggle. Everyday. But I DO choose to listen and believe the voice of truth. I believe that God has a plan for my life...that he does have it all mapped out. I am fixing to be 30...and I am not where I want to be...but I am where God needs me to be. I can't worry about what people think...not strangers, peers, friends, or even family. I went through, WE, went through everything for a reason...so we could be where God wanted us WHEN God wants us to be there. He has the perfect job for me...in the perfect place. I hear his voice all the time...the voice of truth saying, "I've got this, Shana. I've got this...have faith and walk with me...I've got it."

I love this song and just wanted to share why it speaks to me so much...love you all...thanks for standing by me through so much...and having faith in me as well as God.

"Out of all the voices calling out to me, I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth."

Faith

"We all have two choices. We can resist change and be
miserable or we can embrace it and live. If you hold
on the past, the past will hold on to you. But if you
hold on to God, he will lead you into the future to
embrace the abundant life he planned for you all
along.
So where ever you are in life , whatever you are
experiencing cling to the One who is Lord over all
defining moments." Rick Owen, Pastor, St. Matthew Cumberland Presbytarian Church



I am sure most of you have seen this skit before but it is worth seeing again...


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cyheJ480LYA


It is a great reminder of just how amazing Christ's love is for each of us...everyone...no one is left out. I love that it shows how we get seperated from God...how things, people, situations make us lose sight of what is truly important. I did that...during my divorce...so many things pulled me away from him...but he is always there...ready to fight for me. We had a theatrical group from Tennesse come visit our church and do this live...very amazing. They also did a skit about an interview at"The Gates" that was very eye opening. It wasn't the gates of Heaven or Hell...it was the gate of mortality...very interesting but I am having trouble finding anything like it to post.

Jus thought I would share...we are all too busy sometimes...I like to be reminded that I am NEVER too busy...

Things I learned at a water park...

1) Women's swimwear is a disaster. Why have swimsuit manufacturer's failed to realize that women's suits need SUPPORT?! We spend WAY too much on bra's that lift and support and keep in place...why can't swimsuits provide a little of that?? Call me crazy but we need a little MORE support when swimming, running after toddlers, and laying out in the sun. GET WITH IT designers! There are a FEW companies that offer suits that offer good swimwear but by looking around the room...not enough:)

2) Waterparks are fun...no doubt about it. So fun that we forget how awful we look...lol. But chasing around 2 kids at a waterpark...I may never recover.

3) I got to go down to the lobby with Shayden for storytime. (With a wolf named Wiley which I think is silly because Wiley was a coyote but that isn't the point.) It was perfect. The story was okay, the show they provide is mediocre at best...but looking around the room at 200 sleepy eyed toddlers with their mommies...that was priceless. Working at a midde school allows you to see very little innocence...that room was full of innocence. It overwhelmed to the point of tears. The world needs to find a way back to that...

4) Completely contradictory to that...I saw 13 year old girls walking around in bikini's that left little to the imagination and fake "tramp stamp" tattoos on their back. What happens between 6 and 12 and how do I keep my daughter from falling into that trap? I know she will test the waters and want to grow up but come on...why do tweens want to be SO sexy?? I despise the media and pop stars for making that the norm. And I despise parents for falling into the trap and accepting it. UGH

5) Great Wolf Lodge is worth the money. When you are booking it and see how much it costs...you silently (or NOT so silently:) wonder if that is a bit extravagent for one night. IT IS. Hands down...without a doubt. Go as a family...you spend two days with nothing but family activities in a hotel aimed at kids...no laundry, no bills hanging over your head, nothing but precious time together...these memories will last a lifetime.

We had a blast...I will post pics as soon as I get them uploaded...

Graduation Day...

Thanking Mommy...after all...I DID give him life:)
Bishop quote of the day : "Everyone fell down today because I am so beautiful." He was serious...lol

He WAS the best dressed...showed up all the kids in his shirt and tie...which he BEGGED to wear!

His standard pose...wonder how he become such a poser:)

Today was a first of many milestones...it was very special. He looked adorable and it was just really cool to be a part of it. I am very proud...he got all kinds of awards...reading, math, computers. His teacher was amazing. I am nervous about first grade...tests, and AR, and TEKS...oh my!!!

I did get a little teary...he is almost 7 and Shay turns 3 next week...where does time go??

Where is Tres?

Tres is the strangest cat I have ever had. I woke up this morning to a cat with his paw wrapped around my arm staring at me. He let out a little meow and just stared. Then he began to lick my arm. Then my eyebrows. WHAT?? What a weirdo cat!!! I opened my eyes again and he let out another meow. Okay, Tres...what is SO important??

HE NEEDED A TREAT!!!

By now I am SURE you have figured out Tres is a MALE cat...why else would he have such a sense of entitlement:)???

Dr. Feel Good

I have been struggling with a few things lately...well, I am always struggling with something...aren't we all:)? But my issues have to do with not having a job and feeling inadequate, living at home, the job interview process only intesifys these worries. You sit before someone and try to make yourself seem like the best person for the job...and then you wait. Talk about anxiety! I let it bother me far more than I let on...or even realize for that matter. BUT...God...in his amazing way...just keeps whispering in my ear...trust me. And how can I not...He has done amazing things in my life and Brad's in the last year...he is awesome. I read an article today in PARADE magazine. I am not a regular reader nor am I a big Dr. Phil fanatic...but the article that he wrote is a MUST read:

http://www.parade.com/health/2009/05/dr-phil-mcgraw-getting-through-tough-times.html

It is about dealing with the tough times many of us are facing. They can bring us together or tear us apart....READ IT:). The depression was a hard time...I have heard my great grandmother's stories...but the one thing great that came out of it was people coming together...is it too late for America to change?